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Last Updated: August 3, 2020


Does it ever cross your mind you are probably micro-cheating when you engage in casual flirting across online social platforms and apps?

Micro-cheating involves small, secret encounters with someone other than your partner. They may be in the form of text messages, conversations at work, social media messages, inside jokes, and more. 

Oakland Psychology

Maybe it is time ito find out!

Social media and messaging apps have contributed to a series of positives and negatives in the 21st Century lifestyle. For starters, it is a great place to meet new people and start relationships, some of which end in matrimonial bliss. On the other hand, it is a tricky platform for those committed elsewhere but hopelessly addicted and flipped.

It all rotates around socially inappropriate exchanges online which if revealed to the spouses and the public, would be embarrassing. It involves flirting by texting inappropriate messages and sharing indecent images and video files.

This interaction casually called micro-cheating sometimes leads to emotional attachments, which may interfere with existing relationships.

Below are tell-tale signs you are probably micro-cheating.


1.  Excited Texting/Messaging

excited messaging leads to micro cheating
Be concerned when excitement gets the better of you

Messages with friends and professionals should remain friendly and professional, but trouble starts when they become minimally suggestive and sleazy.  Many people find it easy to express themselves via text than speech and thus are swayed to write stuff they would not speak out!

The sleazy expressions, only known to the phone and receiver, soon turn dirty and build up to unacceptable tones.


2. Messaging Instead of Posting

When you choose to use private messaging apps instead of public platforms, for fear of backlash from others, you are probably hiding unfaithful motives. The fact your other half does not favor communication between you and the other person should be reason enough for you to pull the plug.

But hey, you cannot resist the urge to heap praises on that sexy photo to make your appreciation known. Of course, you cannot do this on a public timeline.


3. Suggestive Emojis

winky emoji contributes to micro cheating
Emojis speak a thousand words

A picture speaks a thousand words, and so do Emojis. What makes Emojis interesting is the fact they can literally represent every form of emotion. While it is standard to use the ordinary ‘Like emoji, it will raise other peoples’ eyebrows if Winky or Love emojis are used.


4. The Flirting Bait

When causal flirting becomes a little complex and takes a wrong turn, one of the two parties ends up the victim. Often times users engage in meaningless exchanges with sexual overtones. While the person on the other end will cheer on and seem inviting, they are often aloof.

You, on the other hand, may fall for the overtones. You can easily harass the other person sexually.


5. Outing Thoughts!

Messages and chats can easily get out of hand if not thought out seriously. When you decide to get off your sits and hit the road with your chat mate, you are probably getting out of line. Well-meaning conversations should remain on social media.


6.  The Ex Factor

Now that you can communicate online with your ex, a lot of challenges stand in your way. Because you are not standing face to face to see each other’s discomfort, and probably disdain, you easily type away useless messages that you will regret one day.

While this happens, your partner assumes exes are meant for history.


7. Cyber Stalking

If you have the time to dig through his/her old posts and pictures, and eventually liking them, you are probably not being faithful and are thus micro-cheating. You must surely be thinking and feeling a lot about the other person to go digging into their past.

Depending on what the other person thinks and feels about you, cyber stalking can easily get out of hand. It will land you in trouble.


8.   Are You Microcheating???

stop micro cheating
Maybe it is time to stop

While casual flirting may be harmless (just saying), often times we take it too far to the extent of initiating micro-cheating.  It is especially true if the other party is not reciprocating and is uncomfortable.

Some even go ahead and tell you to stop. Then you will know you have crossed the line.

Are you a victim or perpetrator of micro cheating?


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