How to Become a Professional Gate Crasher!

To become a seasoned gate crasher, refine your CONFIDENCE to the extent it never crosses your mind you could get smoked out!5 min

peeping tom
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Are you having that weird urge to become a gate crasher one of these days? It happens to all of us – occasionally.

You very much want to be part of that A list party but somehow are ineligible because your name is missing on the guest list. Sometimes, the urge to gate crash simply gets a kick from the adrenaline in us.

Now that your name is missing on the guest list, do you simply give up and miss the fun? Not really.

Here are the notes:

Below are NIFTY LITTLE TRICKS to help you gatecrash that party like a pro.

1. Ooze confidence!

First things first. Before setting out as a party gate crasher, refine your CONFIDENCE to the extent it never crosses your mind you could get smoked out!

In brief, martial up your mental resources to ensure you fit the moment.

How do you do this?

Do your research, find out everything you need to know: the theme, the dress code, and a little more about the hosts. Then make sure to look the part.

OOZE and exhibit confidence every step of the way, that Donald Trump himself will become frightened. Upload that disarming smile, and you may just get more than only handshakes!

This way, you JUST may just blow everyone away and get the NODE even before a badge is asked of you.

2. Dress the part

blend in to become a gate crasher
Dress the part and blend in

Of course, this is important. Make sure to BLEND every step of the way. You should be neat, presentable, and admirable.

Avoid being too exquisite though, or inappropriately dressed. A black suit or any matching color is good enough for a formal occasion.

If it is a casual home party, blend in by dressing smart CASUAL. Again, beware not to out-dress everyone else. This will make you the center of attention and may leave you vulnerable.

You do not want to be smoked out in the middle of the fun.

3. The name hack

Find a way, and hack yourself into the guest LIST. You may have to dig into relevant details in advance or simply use your WIT.

At the entrance, be quick enough to scan the attendance list and find out the absentees and latecomers. Mumble something close to a name that is not checked and pick it up the minute you are sure.

In the age of technology, you may also want to hack your way into the attendance list using relevant digital tools.

hack your way into the attendance list
Watch the attendance roster closely for absentees

Beware though of popular names at the party. You will just earn yourself a ticket OUT of the door if you pick up the name of the GUEST speaker, who is yet to arrive – but who is known to everyone else but you!

Secondly, use the surname of the HOST with confidence OOZING out. Pretend you know them and make sure to have a little background at your fingertips!

4. Carry a drink!

Carry a drink
Carry a fitting drink

Yes. If somehow you have a CLUE about the brands going around, carry one in the hand as you whisk yourself through the entrance.

It should not be a cheap one though. Champagne or some relevant liquor will do the trick.

Make sure it is well packaged and visible as you make a GRAND entrance.

5. The waiter bait

use the waiter bait to gate crash
Become the waiter you are not!

OOPS! If it is all that is available in your hack list, why not give it a go!

The chances of getting bounced are so minimal since the waiter is the last on the list of suspect gate crashers. Make sure to do your research in advance and pick out the right attire. The colors are usually black and white.

Excuse yourself for arriving late as you fidget around with the B. tie. Chances are 99% you will be shown the way inside.

Find your way to the washroom and change your dressing, or else you will end up serving everyone in attendance!

6. Use the back boor!

Every party house has a backdoor. ALL.

Get into the habit of staying in the know about these little secrets. The difference being, some may involve climbing fences. You may also want to carry a screwdriver with you, just in case!

Make sure though not to make an entrance with a SOILED or TORN shirt!

a gate crasher may seek alternative entrance
A gate crasher may want to try an alternative entrance

7. Get invited

Yes. If all gate-crashing hacks fail, try to get yourself invited officially. If it means hacking into the computer to key in your name, why not? But again, what’s the fun?

Nothing beats the feeling of getting your adrenaline running wild.

A gate crasher stays in the loop

gate crashers don't over drink
Desist from too much alcohol

Once inside, blend and don’t get caught. Stay in the loop. Have manners and don’t overdrink. Avoid excess alcohol and other improper habits that can make you odd. Once spotted, your EJECTION could be a little nasty!

If you follow the hacks illustrated above, you probably will have become a professional gate crasher.

Otherwise, be ready to FAIL. If asked to leave, be a gentleman, and walk away. Any resistance may lead to dishonorable treatment. It may just about deny you a future opportunity in the neighborhood.

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Alfred Amuno

I don’t exactly look like this emoji - in real life at least, but somehow, maybe I do. The emoji spots a visual head, eyes, mouth, and hand, just like the real me. These are tools I use to flip and write my notes about what I see in the world. In all fairness, the world is weird, interesting, and a bagful of stories to tell!